Government issues covid whitewash with a special pdf version for Prime Minister Albanese to read <sarc>.
The Australian Covid Whitewash Inquiry includes a special easy read version.
Easy Read pdf
When I read about this “Easy Read” pdf of the Australian Government Covid whitewash inquiry in Alison Bevege’s article about the 996 page debacle I thought it looked so ridiculous that it must be satirical - but I realise now that the easy read version must have been issued by the experts bureaucrats with Prime Minister Albanese in mind, to help him to digest the complicated information in the whitewash inquiry.
I immediately imagined a bureaucrat explaining the information to Prime Minister Albanese and helping him to understand the results and reasoning of the whitewash inquiry; something like this:
BUREAUCRAT: It has great pictures, Mr Albanese. Look at this one on the front cover showing a family sitting at the dinner table thinking carefully about what you — in other words, the Prime Minister — must do to get ready for the next plandemic pandemic. I suppose Mr Albanese you might be able to identify with the common looking guy in the blue striped shirt, because you certainly have the common touch.
[COMMENT: I am honestly pretty sure this really was made for the Prime Minister: after all it seems to assume that the recipient of this information actually knows who the Prime Minister is, even if the reader does not know what an inquiry is or what the Cabinet or the Department of the Prime Minister is… ]
BUREAUCRAT: Apparently, Mr Prime Minister, experts are people who know a lot about a topic. Amazing! Who would’ve thought it.
[MY COMMENT: I really didn’t get that during Covid — generally the experts seemed to be the ones who didn’t know a lot about anything. I suppose the Prime Minister believes it though, after all, if he didn’t believe it, they wouldn’t put it in his special Easy Read pdf.]
BUREAUCRAT: The other amazing and new thing about this information Mr Albanese is that we discover what a “Vaccine” is:
[MY COMMENT: I notice that they are careful not to say that it definitely does stop you and others from getting sick — it “may” stop you from getting sick.]
BUREAUCRAT:Now Mr Albanese the whitewash inquiry tells us that the next plan for a pandemic (let’s just call it a ‘plandemic’) should tell us how quarantine works.
[MY COMMENT: Obviously this would be, quarantine everyone who disagrees. ]
BUREAUCRAT: Also we are told that private means only some people should see the information. I assume, Mr Prime Minister, that this would apply to all the government data following the plandemic, all the pharmaceutical company contracts and studies, and any other incriminating facts after the event. We could do it better next time.
BUREAUCRAT: And we need to make sure people TRUST the vaccines.
[MY COMMENT: Would that be because nobody does, now?]
[MR ALBANESE: Would that be because…. er… nobody trusts vaccines now?]
BUREAUCRAT: I reassure you, Mr Albanese, everyone trusts the vaccines. We just need to… make sure they do. And that they choose to get them. Gotta get rid of that pesky misinformation.
BUREAUCRAT: The other thing the plan for the next pandemic needs to do is to include a plan for how to say “things” in a clear way. Or even “things in a plandemic.” It seems appropriate to call it a plandemic because it’s a plan for a pandemic.
BUREAUCRAT: It especially needs to mention how the Government could speak with the “vaccine skeptics” the “racist right wing people” and the “misinformers.” Best if that could done through a set of bars, don’t you think, Prime Minister?
[MY COMMENT: Believe it or not, this document is real. Here is the gov.au link:
https://www.pmc.gov.au/sites/default/files/resource/download/easy-read-recs-actions.pdf
I wanted to archive it on wayback machine but that is down at the moment for me anyhow. ]
Thank God for Iceland.
PS before someone says this post is “misinformation”, let me point out that the 996 page Australian Government Covid Inquiry is “misinformation” - this post is “satire.”
ahhh brilliant and thanks for the mention!